Chump Syndrome

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How it begins

Chump syndrome is a mental disorder caused by not being able to bang an ex-girlfriend anymore. It causes people to act in a creepy and possessive way towards their ex. Common activities include late night drunk texts and writing letters begging for a second chance. Some may have trouble seeing their ex move on, and will attack the new guy's personal and professional reputation.

Signs and symptoms

Possessiveness

Obsessiveness

Malicious Behavior

Causes

Notable cases

  • Maddox

Quotes related to Chump Syndrome

Look man, you break up with someone, or someone breaks up with you, that's the end of it. Look. Maybe they like you, maybe they don't. Maybe they've moved on with someone else. But if you sit there and obsess and stalk and harass and threaten the new person they're living with? You're a fucking pathetic loser!!

Dick: But the problem is…the problem is the manifestation of this…I don't know if it's jealousy or regret, or whatever it is, this anger that guys have.

Maddox: Yeah.

Dick: When they can't bang a woman they wanna bang. Turns into this, like, ridiculous violence and threats of violence.

Dick: Tell me you haven't experienced this before!

Maddox: Oh, uh…no.

Dick: Guys losing their fucking minds 'cause they can't bang some girl anymore! Chill out, dude!

Maddox: No, no, exactly, yeah. No, that's desperation. Yeah. That's…desperation. You know what that guy is, is a chump. That's a textbook chump. Because you can't get laid, you can't find another girl, so you gotta sit there and obsess and stalk and creep, and threaten.

Maddox: These guys…haven't gone through the work of self improvement to figure out what they're doing wrong to be able to be attract women, and they're fucking pussies, and they sit there and obsess about their ex, who has moved on with their fucking lives! Look man, you break up with someone, or someone breaks up with you, that's the end of it. Look. Maybe they like you, maybe they don't. Maybe they've moved on with someone else. But if you sit there and obsess and stalk and harass and threaten the new person they're living with? You're a fucking pathetic loser!!

Dick: And I think…the reason I think it's a big problem is because I have never NOT dealt with this. EVERY chick I've ever dated has a guy sending her texts exactly like this.

Maddox: Yeah. I have dated…I have dated girls who did get texts like that, like, "Oh, who's this new guy? Blablablablabla." They're trying to, you know, stalk, and threaten, and harass. And I'm like "Wow." I just sit back, cool as a cucumber. I'm like "Well, that guys sounds like he's having a rough time."

Dick: (chuckles) Yeah.

- Episode 43, The Biggest Problem in the Universe [2]