Dickheads

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The Dickheads are a cold calculating machine race, built by Dick Masterson to boost his ego and Patreon numbers. This machine race is also no stranger to harassing the innocent that dare criticize its creator.

About

What the Dickheads truly look like.

The brilliant scientist Maddox known for his scientific discoveries in all things trivial is the one that managed to oust this mechanical menace. Maddox's first clues to the existence of this race stem from the early days of The Biggest Problem in The Universe. He noticed a portion of the fan base preferred Dick over himself. Maddox was both rightfully and logically quick to conclude that no living person could possibly prefer a charismatic, attractive easy-going guy like Dick over himself, unless of course they were mindless machines built by Dick.

The Dickheads spend most of their time systematically browsing the worldwide web using complex algorithms to build a persona as to appear human. Not only does this infamous algorithm (coined the Dickorhythm) create a persona, it also scans millions of pictures a day and splices them up to create pictures that look like an entirely different person. This is so they aren’t traceable though a Google image back search when posting pictures of themselves on social media websites.

Dick has desperately even gone as far as to create CGI videos of supposed Dickheads to further fabricate the charade that anyone would actually pay into his Patreon. One such example is Madcucks. Using the latest CGI and pitch shifting technology, Dick created a Dickhead who believes he is the real Maddox. Unfortunately as Dick isn’t a forever 90’s telemarketing programming genius who probably doesn’t even use vi, it comes off looking like a parody. Dick pretends this was intentional. Not only that, he’s also negligible at updating Madcucks.

Recently the Patreon goal reached the “Dick on the Road” level which will have Dick go on tour around different states to meet Dickheads. It is widely believed he will film it all in some warehouse and use Scooby Doo-tier projectors to fabricate real people.

The Dickheads are stored at Dick’s place of work. The Dickheads are each given their own CPU due to the complexity of their machine intelligence. The Facebook Dickheads however are all stored on an old Commodore 64.

Armed with Autism

Aside from praising Kek at any turn we have also been known to be able to correlate and canoodle with some of the most #topautists. If you spend some time in the community you most definitely be able to spot us by our signature screeching, duct taped shoes and Sonic backpacks.