Art by Maximum! Panic
Dick on Shaved Ice
After a 30 minute prologue to the episode in which Dick Masterson recalls spilling shaved ice in his father's new BMW and his father's ability to rip his optimus prime from his loving hands sending it flying to meet with gritty asphalt (Why the fuck is asphalt spelled with a ph) the episode begins. Dick speaks of what makes him a rage this week and states that after Buzzfeed was called a dumpster fire by President Elect Donald J. Trump, they took this in stride and used it as branding. This makes Dick a rage because people should know when they are being burned and not take it in stride because "I know I am but what am I" is not a good enough defense to these types of allegations.
After this we have a call in by a man named Null who calls in to speak about his freedom fighting free speech site https://kiwifarms.net/. He speaks of a story regarding how his resource of autismos were able to uncover the fact that a transgender suicide line was basically scamming donors out of money by answering 2 out of 80 calls from trans people who were feeling suicidal. Following this we had a brilliant Asterios bit where he made songs in the theme of "Merry Cuckmas". These songs were a good bit of banter on the fact that Maddox has lost his sponsors for the Man Purse Network and poking fun at the fact that he use to be funny. Dick then talks about the fact that Maddox is breaking the Terms of Service with Amazon due to the fact that he is asking people to bookmark his affiliate link in order to get pennies in order to buy soup for the week. The Maddox funeral death pool was started for the hiatus of The Best Debate in The Universe the prize being a trip to Los Angeles to attend a formal funeral event. An Erotic Story is then read about someone getting sex by listening to The Dick Show.
We then have the call in segment of the show in which we have Pettyman calling in about being a rage over "Being called inappropriate". Then Izzy Nobre called in and responds to allegations that he is in fact Frankie Farts a' Plenty. He then says that haircuts make him a rage. A song is then played by Sam Glaze, Dick states he "makes awesome fucking songs". Dustin then calls in which was a return from hiatus about The Facebook group that next to no one actually cares about. It is revealed that Dustin likes My Little Pony and potentially has written fan fiction about MLP. Not sure why Dustin made it seem like he was running the underground book railroad but w/e. Then we get the last Cuckmas bit. We then are outro'd by Eddie Theaxe Jefferson with a DOPE chiptune remix with voicemail following.
- Dustin has been placed on suicide watch after his rage of "Noisy Eaters" falls flat to Joel Chaco's Bad Nachos.