Front of the letter
The Letter is a post-breakup letter that Maddox wrote for 80's Girl, in which he pleads for a second chance. This nuclear goss bomb was first announced on 16 May 2017 at Road Rage: Taxation is Theft. Dick hoped to use this letter as a deterrent to keep Maddox from acting out his Chump Syndrome. But obviously that didn't happen, and Dick was left with no choice but to reveal the contents of the letter.
The letter reads as follows:
Dear 80's Girl,
I'm sorry I didn't do a good job understanding you. I know that I can do better. I love you and I care about you more than anyone I know. You are still the person I think of when I
want tosmile. You make me smile. You have made me a kinder, gentler, and more patient person. Even though I have work to do, I know what you need right now is space. So I'm going to give it to you. I wish things could have been different. I hope things will be different. If they are not, I understand. I'll be heartbroken. But I'll understand.
I'm sorry if I ever hurt you. You don't deserve that. You are a good, kind, sensitive person. I should be more sensitive in the future. If things never work out between us then at least I can say that I tried my best. And in case they don't, then I just want to say thank you for briefly being a part of my life. I'll always treasure the memories we have had together. We've had more good times than bad. You are the best thing that's ever happened to me. You are my best friend. I'm lucky to have known you. I miss you, and I LOVE YOU. Thanks for being part of my life.
A long time ago, 80's Girl and Maddox used to date. After their relationship ended, Maddox wrote her this blubbering apology letter in an attempt to win her back. Years later, 80's Girl rediscovered the letter while going through some of her old stuff.
Dick teases the letter
After 80's Girl and Dick did the Casper Smash, Maddox started harassing 80's Girl on Twitter. In response, Dick announced the letter's existence at Road Rage.
I got a nuclear goss bomb ... Maddox has been threatening 80's Girl via Twitter private messages and I didn't know what to do about it ... But! She was going through some of her stuff the other day and she found an envelope... It is a post breakup 'please get back together with me' letter ... what is it? Two pages long? And now I have it.—Dick Masterson, Road Rage: Taxation is Theft
Dick attempted to use the letter's mere existence as a deterrent—a way to get Maddox to lay off 80's Girl. However, as you can imagine, that didn't happen. Maddox and his deranged girlfriend Mental Jess doubled down. Together, they formed a job lynch mob. Mental Jess called 80's Girl's employer to try and get her fired. Instead Mental Jess got slapped with a restraining order. Fucking kek.
Despite all this, Dick refrained from revealing the letter.